Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
当Mettā 被误解的时候。。。矛盾。
今天是一个很矛盾的日子。有很开心的事，日子接近尾声的时候也有伤心的事。
有个朋友，算是和我 ‘短绝’了朋友关系。
也许你会说，哎呀又不是失恋，何必伤心呢？朋友罢了嘛。。。你还有很多啊。。
这位朋友，说来话长，对她了解其实不太深。。。起初觉得她很像个开心果，很可爱，后来久了，发现很难了解她，甚至有时和他沟通时，会因为她的漫不经心态度感到有些不适，所以对她的好感也少了。
因为一些错中复杂的事，我们之间发生了一些误会。我感觉很内疚，也曾向她道歉。
我以为，她还是一个我值得交往的朋友。
她起初寄了生日祝福给我，其实心里真的很高兴。但因为最近的误会，我不知如何答复。最后鼓起勇气答复她时，却发现她已把祝福删除了。
我去了她的facebook网页留言说谢谢。。。在那里。。。 我也看见她的最新留言：
“少了个朋友，心里也开心点。，，” 我不多想，就不理了。后来由于一时的好奇我又回去看看，发现我为她留下的留言，也被她立即删除了。
或许是我敏感，可是我能感觉她指的那位，就是我。因为上几回遇见她时，都感觉她和我说话时的态度很不自在。
觉得有点惊讶。。。为什么呢？我做错了什么？
很伤心。毕竟她是个朋友。
我寄了电话短讯给他。我说这样我很伤心，因为我是真的看待她为朋友，虽然最近我们发生误会。我也祝福她安宁，快乐。
后来得到的回讯，她说她很开心，我的祝福比较像是"sarcasm". 她又说她很开心，因为她有很多很“真实”的朋友和家人。
灰心。原来我的好意，对她来说，只是一句台词，我的面孔，在他眼中只是一个面具。
为什么会这样？ :'(
metta is love. loving-kindness. why is that you wish people peace and happiness they call u sarcastic???? WHY??????????????
有个朋友，算是和我 ‘短绝’了朋友关系。
也许你会说，哎呀又不是失恋，何必伤心呢？朋友罢了嘛。。。你还有很多啊。。
这位朋友，说来话长，对她了解其实不太深。。。起初觉得她很像个开心果，很可爱，后来久了，发现很难了解她，甚至有时和他沟通时，会因为她的漫不经心态度感到有些不适，所以对她的好感也少了。
因为一些错中复杂的事，我们之间发生了一些误会。我感觉很内疚，也曾向她道歉。
我以为，她还是一个我值得交往的朋友。
她起初寄了生日祝福给我，其实心里真的很高兴。但因为最近的误会，我不知如何答复。最后鼓起勇气答复她时，却发现她已把祝福删除了。
我去了她的facebook网页留言说谢谢。。。在那里。。。 我也看见她的最新留言：
“少了个朋友，心里也开心点。，，” 我不多想，就不理了。后来由于一时的好奇我又回去看看，发现我为她留下的留言，也被她立即删除了。
或许是我敏感，可是我能感觉她指的那位，就是我。因为上几回遇见她时，都感觉她和我说话时的态度很不自在。
觉得有点惊讶。。。为什么呢？我做错了什么？
很伤心。毕竟她是个朋友。
我寄了电话短讯给他。我说这样我很伤心，因为我是真的看待她为朋友，虽然最近我们发生误会。我也祝福她安宁，快乐。
后来得到的回讯，她说她很开心，我的祝福比较像是"sarcasm". 她又说她很开心，因为她有很多很“真实”的朋友和家人。
灰心。原来我的好意，对她来说，只是一句台词，我的面孔，在他眼中只是一个面具。
为什么会这样？ :'(
metta is love. loving-kindness. why is that you wish people peace and happiness they call u sarcastic???? WHY??????????????
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
my personal DNA
You are an Experiencer
Your inquisitive nature, imagination, and hands-on practicality make you an EXPERIENCER.
Although you have an active imagination, you also concern yourself with the functional elements of things.
You are willing to experiment to find things that work the most efficiently.
Getting stuck in certain habits is boring to you—you'd rather find new experiences.
Accordingly, experiences are more important to you than objects—you'd rather spend your money and energy on events and adventures than on material things.
You like to contemplate a lot of options before making a decision, and you're willing and able to consider a lot of different angles to problems.
You're open to suggestions, and often rely on others to assess the merit of those suggestions.
You have an ability to see the big picture—not just how things are, but how they could be—in a variety of situations.
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
If you want to be different:
Have faith that your imagination and practicality will complement each other, and lead to good decisions on your part.
Take the initiative in seeking things out—don't wait for them to come to you.
how you relate to others
You are Faithful
Your trust in others, respect for tradition, and caring nature make you FAITHFUL.
Maintaining a few intimate relationships is more important to you than knowing a lot of people, and you share a lot with your close friends.
Those who have managed to get close to you value your camaraderie, and they know that they can trust you with anything; you're a good listener.
While you can usually see several sides of an argument, you often have a strong opinion as to which side is correct—the order of things is usually clear to you.
Your perspective on the world is based on careful observation, and you know a lot about how people feel in—and react to—many situations.
Your exploration of others' feelings has led you to believe that although people generally act appropriately, having clear social rules is very important to a functional society.
Time alone for reflection is important to you—you are introspective and aware of your own feelings.
Faithful is as faithful does—you expect those with whom you are close to be loyal to you, and you take betrayal of your trust very seriously.
If you want to be different:
Some of the alternate perspectives that you understand may have more value than you give them credit for—keep in mind that right and wrong aren't always so clear-cut.
While you are able to reap the benefits of your time alone, and may see interacting with a lot of people as more tiring than exciting, remember that there is a lot to be learned from experiencing things and not just reflecting on them.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
why? 我心中的呐喊
Why do i do the same mistakes again and again? have i got no self control at all?
why can't i just tell myself that i will be more confident with myself?
why must i make people's life more miserable?
how???
i am frustrated... i wanna get out of this rut... i dont want to continue to be in this state of self pity... worthlessness... i want to be confident..
i told myself to be positive.... but why do i fall back again to the grey mode, so fast?
i need to do something, its ruining myself, it's ruining my relationship with ppl around me.... i need to do something before it's too late!!!
why can't i just tell myself that i will be more confident with myself?
why must i make people's life more miserable?
how???
i am frustrated... i wanna get out of this rut... i dont want to continue to be in this state of self pity... worthlessness... i want to be confident..
i told myself to be positive.... but why do i fall back again to the grey mode, so fast?
i need to do something, its ruining myself, it's ruining my relationship with ppl around me.... i need to do something before it's too late!!!
Do you believe in God?
Am i spiritual? or... am i spiritual enough?
i suppose sometimes, when i am calmer, i am more aware of the surroundings, when i am neutral, i am spiritual.
there are times, when i am feeling stressed, uneasy, easily irritated, upset for minor reasons... i think about negative things... that is when the spirituality in me is nowhere to be found...
Final med is a tough year... and time and time again i lose my spiritual side... (i think) as a result, the frequency of 'unhappy events' are higher as compared to previous years... today, i met Ben, he is like one of our tutor in the CSI, he was reminding me that its very important for us to keep a strong sense of spirituality deep within us, and also to believe in god in times of hardships...he asked me, "Do you believe in the powerful one up there? He is always beside you to help you..."
I replied, "yes, of course... and i do believe that he takes many forms to remind us/take care of us... as an example, he sends people to help us/ take care of us. That is how he reaches us.. and i believe, within everyone of us, there is a god, to lead us the way in our lives....hmm, perhaps he sent u to me today to remind me, to be strong inside!" :)
Going back to my 'fluctuating spirituality', i believe that is a sign that i have not trained my mind well enough... as a result of lack of 'spiritual exercise', i let myself go astray with negative thoughts many times a day... as a result, i frequently think of giving up when things get tough, i get depressed when things do not turn out as planned, i get mad/angry when i could not get things done in time, i feel lousy, and ugly, sometimes a little stupid... all of these are good indicators, signifying that i need to be more alert n keep more in touch with my spiritual side.
I would like to end this post with a shout out (taken from my friend, Alicia's facebook shoutout...
"No other person can make you feel beautiful. You give all these things to yourself by growing as a person and changing the way to talk to yourself."
Enough said, cili padi, stay strong...you can make things happen! :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Cinderella and the Med Ball
Don't laugh at me, but i do have to admit that i have had a lot of 'magical' thoughts since i was a young girl... one of the fairy tales that lives in me indefinitely, is the story of Cinderella...
I have always dreamed about how it will be like to dress up for a night and to attend a ball, meeting the prince charming there, dance together and have an unforgettable night.
My 'dream came true' last friday, 20th November 2009 was the first time i attended a ball. It was a medical faculty ball organised by UCC (University College Cork).
Although things weren't as fancy as what i imagined... but it turned out to be quite good. This is a night, which i will never forget. Ps: Thanks Mr. Lim ;)
~ Carpe Diem : Cherish the moment ~
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Dare to fly, Little Dandelion!
It was Hong Tak's previous visit to Galway. Due to excessive boredom from too much of studying, he suggested 'out of the blue' that we watch an episode of Doraemon (the blue, round, earless robotic cat, pictured below) on the internet. I believe many of us had at least read the Doraemon comic or watched the cartoon once in our lifetime, during childhood.
Hmm.... the synopsis of the story goes like this:
One fine day, Nobita and Doraemon was cleaning up the room. Nobita spotted a plant (the dandelion) growing inside his empty glass aquarium. He planned to throw the plant away but was
stopped by Doraemon... Anyway, Doraemon, as usual, introduced a very cool piece of tool to Nobita, and thus he was able to 'interact' with and 'befriended' the dandelion. Nobita became propective and curious about the plant, observing it day by day, until the day it evolved into a beautiful, flower head covered with many 'baby' parachutes.
Then the time came when the wind came blowing and the 'babies' took flight with the strong wind, spinning courageously in the air, leaving their 'beloved mother' behind, to pursue their destiny while exploring the world around them. The first gush of wind brought all of the baby dandelions away, except for one tiny little 'baby', very attached and very reluctant to leave its mother.
"I'm afraid!!! I don't want to leave you, mother! I want to stay here with you..." the young dandelion cried.
"Don't be afraid, my dear child. You have to be strong, you have to be brave. You should join your brothers and sisters. Look! They are all flying happily in the air, exploring the beautiful world."
"But I don't want to leave you, I feel safe here. I'm afraid to go away all by myself!", the young one protested.
"My dear child, before I settled here, I was once young like you. I join my brothers and sisters, we left our mother (your grandmother) beside the train station, we flew bravely in the air, and then we parted and took our own journey. I went to many different place, i saw the most beautiful sights on earth....and at night, when it was cold and lonely, I would settle down and rest on top of the roof, accompanied by the bright, beautiful 'Grandma Moon'. Then for my final destination, I settled in a glass aquarium in Nobita's room. And now i am happy to have you here."
"Wow.... mother, your experience was really exciting. After listening to your story, I am not afraid anymore! When the next gush of wind comes, I will be brave and take flight, to explore the beautiful world outside!" exclaimed the young one.
Within seconds, another gush of strong wind came by, the young da
ndelion spunned gracefully in the sky, happily bidding farewell to its mother....
Of course, Nobita followed the whole process of the dandelion's life. He then summed up enough courage to join the Big bully Giant and and smug boy (Shinyu) in a baseball game which he is always afraid to join.
Anyone interested in watching the animation of the story? Click on the link below:
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/j9-ZFgZz-_w/
The retold story may not be 100% accurate, but that is the gist i think is valuable to share. I find this story, simple, yet deeply inspiring and touching. It unfolded many lessons and facts of life.
I could still remember back in the time where i first settled down at Taylor's College Subang Jaya, i was very reluctant and afraid to leave my coccoon. Furthermore, to leave the accountancy course in matriculation and pursue medicine in KL was an abrupt decision i made on the day i left. I cried, i was unsure of the future, i felt helpless.
Mummy and daddy called to check if i was settling well. I could not recall the exact conversation but there was a sentence which still rings in my head, everytime i feel afraid (even until now). Mummy said, "Li Liang, i know you are a very strong girl and you will be OK. We (everyone at home) will always be here for you."
Until now, her words still come back to me, when the going gets tough. That is how i motivate and reassure myself when i feel afraid at this foreign land. I think in a way, it has evolved into an inner motto i constantly have in my mind when things get really challenging. I think daddy and mummy has done a great deal to provide a very secure base for us all, independent and strong enough to pursue the challenges in our life, yet having a very safe haven to turn to when we needed the extra support. Thank you :)
I have not really discussed much about the lessons i learnt from the story i shared above. Perhaps my dear readers, would you reflect and ponder what the little plant in the story has taught us all?
(Doraemon {{fairuse}} ©[http://www.fujiko-pro.co.jp/ Fujiko-Pro], [http://www.shogakukan.co.jp/ Shogakukan] and [http://www.tv-asahi.co.jp/ TV Asahi].)
I have to admit that have i watched quite a great deal of Doraemon cartoons and comic. However, i could hardly recall vividly, any of the stories depicted (poor memory..LOL) .... except for a story i read in one of the comics during my primary school period. It was about the story of Nobita following the life of a dandelion.Hmm.... the synopsis of the story goes like this:
One fine day, Nobita and Doraemon was cleaning up the room. Nobita spotted a plant (the dandelion) growing inside his empty glass aquarium. He planned to throw the plant away but was
stopped by Doraemon... Anyway, Doraemon, as usual, introduced a very cool piece of tool to Nobita, and thus he was able to 'interact' with and 'befriended' the dandelion. Nobita became propective and curious about the plant, observing it day by day, until the day it evolved into a beautiful, flower head covered with many 'baby' parachutes. 
Then the time came when the wind came blowing and the 'babies' took flight with the strong wind, spinning courageously in the air, leaving their 'beloved mother' behind, to pursue their destiny while exploring the world around them. The first gush of wind brought all of the baby dandelions away, except for one tiny little 'baby', very attached and very reluctant to leave its mother.
"I'm afraid!!! I don't want to leave you, mother! I want to stay here with you..." the young dandelion cried.
"Don't be afraid, my dear child. You have to be strong, you have to be brave. You should join your brothers and sisters. Look! They are all flying happily in the air, exploring the beautiful world."
"But I don't want to leave you, I feel safe here. I'm afraid to go away all by myself!", the young one protested.
"My dear child, before I settled here, I was once young like you. I join my brothers and sisters, we left our mother (your grandmother) beside the train station, we flew bravely in the air, and then we parted and took our own journey. I went to many different place, i saw the most beautiful sights on earth....and at night, when it was cold and lonely, I would settle down and rest on top of the roof, accompanied by the bright, beautiful 'Grandma Moon'. Then for my final destination, I settled in a glass aquarium in Nobita's room. And now i am happy to have you here."
"Wow.... mother, your experience was really exciting. After listening to your story, I am not afraid anymore! When the next gush of wind comes, I will be brave and take flight, to explore the beautiful world outside!" exclaimed the young one.
Within seconds, another gush of strong wind came by, the young da
ndelion spunned gracefully in the sky, happily bidding farewell to its mother....Of course, Nobita followed the whole process of the dandelion's life. He then summed up enough courage to join the Big bully Giant and and smug boy (Shinyu) in a baseball game which he is always afraid to join.
-The End-
Anyone interested in watching the animation of the story? Click on the link below:
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/j9-ZFgZz-_w/
The retold story may not be 100% accurate, but that is the gist i think is valuable to share. I find this story, simple, yet deeply inspiring and touching. It unfolded many lessons and facts of life.
I could still remember back in the time where i first settled down at Taylor's College Subang Jaya, i was very reluctant and afraid to leave my coccoon. Furthermore, to leave the accountancy course in matriculation and pursue medicine in KL was an abrupt decision i made on the day i left. I cried, i was unsure of the future, i felt helpless.
Mummy and daddy called to check if i was settling well. I could not recall the exact conversation but there was a sentence which still rings in my head, everytime i feel afraid (even until now). Mummy said, "Li Liang, i know you are a very strong girl and you will be OK. We (everyone at home) will always be here for you."
Until now, her words still come back to me, when the going gets tough. That is how i motivate and reassure myself when i feel afraid at this foreign land. I think in a way, it has evolved into an inner motto i constantly have in my mind when things get really challenging. I think daddy and mummy has done a great deal to provide a very secure base for us all, independent and strong enough to pursue the challenges in our life, yet having a very safe haven to turn to when we needed the extra support. Thank you :)
I have not really discussed much about the lessons i learnt from the story i shared above. Perhaps my dear readers, would you reflect and ponder what the little plant in the story has taught us all?
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Five Love Languages
I was told by a friend last week, that the expression of love, or known as the 'love languages' comes in 5 different forms..it may differ for every individual in terms of preference of using and receiving the type of love language.. i was curious and started to look for more clues with regards to this matter, and i found these:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Those listed above are the five major types of love languages.
I think the headings are pretty much self-explanatory. I know, they may seem very 'cliche', but common things being common, common things are often neglected and taken for granted.
In my opinion, for every relationship, it takes a combination of all of them to ensure an effective communication. It is actually easy to achieve all of the above, what we need is just a little bit more of mindfulness and empathy towards the people who we care about. Hence, as different independent beings as we are, it is not impossible if the other person prefers a different type of love language as us... should we pay more attention to their needs?
Or do we just express our care using the language that we are comfortable using and expect that the other party would somehow be a 'psychic' and feel it?
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Those listed above are the five major types of love languages.
I think the headings are pretty much self-explanatory. I know, they may seem very 'cliche', but common things being common, common things are often neglected and taken for granted.
In my opinion, for every relationship, it takes a combination of all of them to ensure an effective communication. It is actually easy to achieve all of the above, what we need is just a little bit more of mindfulness and empathy towards the people who we care about. Hence, as different independent beings as we are, it is not impossible if the other person prefers a different type of love language as us... should we pay more attention to their needs?
Or do we just express our care using the language that we are comfortable using and expect that the other party would somehow be a 'psychic' and feel it?
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Friday, November 14, 2008
Feeling lonely?
The feeling of loneliness strikes each and everyone of us every now and then. Is it true that if you are all by yourself, you are lonely?
Frequently, some people may feel lonely even when they are surrounded by many people; and to be frank, sometimes i feel even more lonely when there are people around me, as compared to when i am all by myself.
I have always thought about the fact that, we come to this world alone, and we are going to leave this world alone. No matter how much we enjoy company of those whom we love (or vice versa), they are not going to be there for us, forever. Hence, i think it is absolutely important to be independent and self-sufficient in every way.
All of us, had been 'alone' all this while, and yet, sometimes we do not feel 'lonely'. Perhaps, it is the state of mind that controls an individual's perception of 'loneliness'.
The next time you feel 'lonely', maybe just ask yourself, maybe it's just the feeling of 'emptiness' rather than 'loneliness'. As a suggestion, when that feeling comes, maybe it is good to just do things for 'me' or 'myself', do things that you genuinely enjoy, or just purely focus on the 'good' things that had happened to you. You may realise that, 'Hey, actually i am not that lonely!'
Frequently, some people may feel lonely even when they are surrounded by many people; and to be frank, sometimes i feel even more lonely when there are people around me, as compared to when i am all by myself.
I have always thought about the fact that, we come to this world alone, and we are going to leave this world alone. No matter how much we enjoy company of those whom we love (or vice versa), they are not going to be there for us, forever. Hence, i think it is absolutely important to be independent and self-sufficient in every way.
All of us, had been 'alone' all this while, and yet, sometimes we do not feel 'lonely'. Perhaps, it is the state of mind that controls an individual's perception of 'loneliness'.
The next time you feel 'lonely', maybe just ask yourself, maybe it's just the feeling of 'emptiness' rather than 'loneliness'. As a suggestion, when that feeling comes, maybe it is good to just do things for 'me' or 'myself', do things that you genuinely enjoy, or just purely focus on the 'good' things that had happened to you. You may realise that, 'Hey, actually i am not that lonely!'
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Chicken Soup for My Soul - Part 2
Sorry for the delay.... i have been very busy with paediatrics posting lately... fifth year is really a demanding time where we need to cover various new subspecialties.
Ok, continue with my observation about the changes i noticed last summer, when i was back in Tangkak.
The second person i would like to talk about is grandpa, (ah gong).
As a child, i have never really sit down and spoke to him, however i could only remember tagging along with him when he goes out for his coffee breaks with his gang...years go by and now i am 23, ah gong is 81, ah gong is not feeling well, extremely thin, compared to last year, before i leave for Galway for the first time. I could still remember the day when i was back in Tangkak (June 2008), I could not stand but cry seeing him in pain, he was relatively fit, strong, and well nourished last year, before i left; after a year, he was frail, weak, helpless...
Things can go bad, really bad...there is no running away from morbid sickness...I could see him suffer, but there is just so little thing that i could do to ease his pain. To see his condition deteriorate day-by-day really eats me inside.
"Liang, I'm really very happy that you all (us, his grandchildren n children) are here to fetch me up and down for treatment...also thank you for spending time having breakfast with me, i really don't know how to cope if you guys are not around..." that was one of the best thing i've heard from him, when i almost leaving for Ireland.
I could also remember the feeling of the hug he gave me in Assunta Hospital, when he thought that he may never see me again...
I hope he is doing well now...I would really want to go for breakfast with him again next year summer...
The mornings i spent with him for breakfast, all those memories, are being kept safely in my 'Treasure Chest of Fond memories'. :)
May you be well and happy...
Ok, continue with my observation about the changes i noticed last summer, when i was back in Tangkak.
The second person i would like to talk about is grandpa, (ah gong).
As a child, i have never really sit down and spoke to him, however i could only remember tagging along with him when he goes out for his coffee breaks with his gang...years go by and now i am 23, ah gong is 81, ah gong is not feeling well, extremely thin, compared to last year, before i leave for Galway for the first time. I could still remember the day when i was back in Tangkak (June 2008), I could not stand but cry seeing him in pain, he was relatively fit, strong, and well nourished last year, before i left; after a year, he was frail, weak, helpless...
Things can go bad, really bad...there is no running away from morbid sickness...I could see him suffer, but there is just so little thing that i could do to ease his pain. To see his condition deteriorate day-by-day really eats me inside.
"Liang, I'm really very happy that you all (us, his grandchildren n children) are here to fetch me up and down for treatment...also thank you for spending time having breakfast with me, i really don't know how to cope if you guys are not around..." that was one of the best thing i've heard from him, when i almost leaving for Ireland.
I could also remember the feeling of the hug he gave me in Assunta Hospital, when he thought that he may never see me again...
I hope he is doing well now...I would really want to go for breakfast with him again next year summer...
The mornings i spent with him for breakfast, all those memories, are being kept safely in my 'Treasure Chest of Fond memories'. :)
May you be well and happy...
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Chicken Soup for My Soul
Time to leave some trail of thoughts in this humble little space...before my restless mind forgets the good things and lessons i learnt earlier...
The number of posts on this blog is not that high, but in actual fact, its a sanctuary i've created for myself (perhaps also for my dearest daddy, mommy, sisters and brother, wherever they will be). When i first started this blog, i told myself, i want to make this blog a very happy, positive blog. A place where i can feel good visiting, whether i am writing up new posts, or i am just merely reading them when my spirits go low...
Being in Tangkak for almost 3 months, i went through another journey of 'self-rediscovery' (i call it self-rediscovery because i think everyone experiences this many many times in their lives, conciously or subconciously)...as well as those who are closest to me...
First of all, i observed a lot of changes, to the young and old ones around me...
Grandma has certainly mellowed down alot..she doesn't nag so much anymore, she laughs much more easily, but of course tears well up pretty fast in her eyes too if something touches her heart. Still, the strong type A personality in her (the same thing i see in Daddy) is still observable when she talks and does her stuffs. Full of passion and competitive spirit, part of the reason that drives me going when i think of them ;)
-----To be continued------
The number of posts on this blog is not that high, but in actual fact, its a sanctuary i've created for myself (perhaps also for my dearest daddy, mommy, sisters and brother, wherever they will be). When i first started this blog, i told myself, i want to make this blog a very happy, positive blog. A place where i can feel good visiting, whether i am writing up new posts, or i am just merely reading them when my spirits go low...
Being in Tangkak for almost 3 months, i went through another journey of 'self-rediscovery' (i call it self-rediscovery because i think everyone experiences this many many times in their lives, conciously or subconciously)...as well as those who are closest to me...
First of all, i observed a lot of changes, to the young and old ones around me...
Grandma has certainly mellowed down alot..she doesn't nag so much anymore, she laughs much more easily, but of course tears well up pretty fast in her eyes too if something touches her heart. Still, the strong type A personality in her (the same thing i see in Daddy) is still observable when she talks and does her stuffs. Full of passion and competitive spirit, part of the reason that drives me going when i think of them ;)
-----To be continued------
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Replay of a familiar event. Deja vu.
Year: 1989
Venue: Mamak coffee shop at Jalan Sialang, Tangkak
People involved: 阿公，丽凉 (me)
I was 3/4/5 years old (i never remembered what my age was then), neither did i know阿公's age then.
I could remember clearly, almost every morning, after my struggle to finish the bottle of tasteless milk, i would patiently wait for 阿公to come back from the cocoa plantation. Tagging along with him to the coffee shop beside 四公's shop is my daily favourite activity. As usual, 阿公would order a cup of kopi O' and he would light his cigarette and start chatting with other adults. Usually other granduncles, most of the time will be next door's 2nd granduncle with his granddaugther (whom i used to call Wei Nee, my love-hate, frienemy, playmate:P).
It was a routine for almost every weekdays. When daddy and mummy are off to school, as well as jie jie and ko ko (at that time, i call them by name now, i am not sure why...) first of all, he would choose his favourite table and seat, usually the first one from the entrance, beside the fridge. Once the coffee reaches the table, he would separate the saucer from the cup, pour a minute amount of coffee on the saucer just to clean it, and then he would pour a slightly larger amount of coffee from the cup into the saucer. Then, he would lightly put the teaspoon together with the saucer for me.
The first sip of the coffee was often not to my liking. Hot. Bitter.
However, as i drank on, the drink always get sweeter and cooler, and i would make sure that i finish whatever that was poured onto the saucer. As usual, before i get the chance to ask for more coffee on my saucer, 阿公had long finished his portion of coffee in the cup, and he would ask to leave. Guess i took very long time to 'savour' my coffee then :) I used to wonder how he (阿公) could be so fast, finishing the coffee while busily chatting with others.
Then, to finish, 阿公would reward me with a piece of sweet, for being obedient and not running around in the coffee shop. Later, he would drive his old, beige-coloured hashback car and i would always sit at the backseat :)
Year: 2008
Venue: Mamak coffee shop at Jalan Sialang, Tangkak.
People involved: 阿公，丽凉 (me)
We visited the same shop again this morning. Some things remained, some things had changed. The management had changed. Different boss, different cooks, different helpers. 阿公is 81. I am 23, all grown up. I no longer hold his hand. The arrangment of the shop was a little bit different, new furnitures admixed amongst the old cashier and roti canai making table. We sat in the inner part of the shop. He did not order Kopi O' anymore. Instead, he asked for Milo kosong, i asked for a teh tarik. The drink was no longer served in a plate with saucer, they came in transparent, larger glasses. I was no longer the small quiet girl busy sipping the drink on the saucer. Instead, i was actively participating in the conversation with people around grandpa (i did not know who they were, but i do know the conversation).
As we finished our drinks, i drove 阿公home.
Many many changes, however, going out with 阿公to that shop brings back a lot of fond memories, which i would like to cherish and revisit again and again in future. Perhaps, that little curious girl in me is still very alive.
Venue: Mamak coffee shop at Jalan Sialang, Tangkak
People involved: 阿公，丽凉 (me)
I was 3/4/5 years old (i never remembered what my age was then), neither did i know阿公's age then.
I could remember clearly, almost every morning, after my struggle to finish the bottle of tasteless milk, i would patiently wait for 阿公to come back from the cocoa plantation. Tagging along with him to the coffee shop beside 四公's shop is my daily favourite activity. As usual, 阿公would order a cup of kopi O' and he would light his cigarette and start chatting with other adults. Usually other granduncles, most of the time will be next door's 2nd granduncle with his granddaugther (whom i used to call Wei Nee, my love-hate, frienemy, playmate:P).
It was a routine for almost every weekdays. When daddy and mummy are off to school, as well as jie jie and ko ko (at that time, i call them by name now, i am not sure why...) first of all, he would choose his favourite table and seat, usually the first one from the entrance, beside the fridge. Once the coffee reaches the table, he would separate the saucer from the cup, pour a minute amount of coffee on the saucer just to clean it, and then he would pour a slightly larger amount of coffee from the cup into the saucer. Then, he would lightly put the teaspoon together with the saucer for me.
The first sip of the coffee was often not to my liking. Hot. Bitter.
However, as i drank on, the drink always get sweeter and cooler, and i would make sure that i finish whatever that was poured onto the saucer. As usual, before i get the chance to ask for more coffee on my saucer, 阿公had long finished his portion of coffee in the cup, and he would ask to leave. Guess i took very long time to 'savour' my coffee then :) I used to wonder how he (阿公) could be so fast, finishing the coffee while busily chatting with others.
Then, to finish, 阿公would reward me with a piece of sweet, for being obedient and not running around in the coffee shop. Later, he would drive his old, beige-coloured hashback car and i would always sit at the backseat :)
Year: 2008
Venue: Mamak coffee shop at Jalan Sialang, Tangkak.
People involved: 阿公，丽凉 (me)
We visited the same shop again this morning. Some things remained, some things had changed. The management had changed. Different boss, different cooks, different helpers. 阿公is 81. I am 23, all grown up. I no longer hold his hand. The arrangment of the shop was a little bit different, new furnitures admixed amongst the old cashier and roti canai making table. We sat in the inner part of the shop. He did not order Kopi O' anymore. Instead, he asked for Milo kosong, i asked for a teh tarik. The drink was no longer served in a plate with saucer, they came in transparent, larger glasses. I was no longer the small quiet girl busy sipping the drink on the saucer. Instead, i was actively participating in the conversation with people around grandpa (i did not know who they were, but i do know the conversation).
As we finished our drinks, i drove 阿公home.
Many many changes, however, going out with 阿公to that shop brings back a lot of fond memories, which i would like to cherish and revisit again and again in future. Perhaps, that little curious girl in me is still very alive.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Happiness 幸福... Part 2
Here's a continuation to the previous post i wrote about the simple essense of happiness :)
Happiness is:
1. 
To be able to have a steamboat party with the big happy family in Tangkak... All the familiar faces since primary and secondary school made great effort to turn up and meet up together after all these years. They also made sure that my departure to Ireland was a happy one... love 'em! It was a good night with good food and good fun.. (too bad for Ah Qwang who wanted to join so badly but just couldn't make it..)
And the abundance and variety of food Shu Fang and her family prepared for us all! The picture explains it all! :D
2. Views from my Glen Dara old room:
During summer
During winter - it rarely snows in galway... they say the last time it snowed was 4 years ago. The sight of the Galway houses dusted by snow flakes is my favourite! Simply beautiful :)
Anyways, i survived the challenging weather in Galway, Ireland :P winter was tough, but we managed it pretty well!
3. Taujin's visit to Ireland! The best thing that have ever happened to me in Ireland for all these challenging months... is to have Jeannie flying in all the way from Tokushima, Japan.
In the car before we embarked upon the wonderful road trip downsouth-Dublin-Galway. The 'orange' man Jitti is another person that i want to thank a million times for making all these stuffs possible. He was our great cook, alert driver, funny companion and big sponsor to the crazy Gan sisters throughout Jeannie's visit to Ireland. Things could not be better without his presence :) 
Cliffs of Moher - the cold and strong winds could not stop us from taking various wacky pictures!
We managed to leave behind some beautiful footprints in the Guiness Stout Brewery, Dublin, Ireland.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
(23+1) x 365!
wow... time flies. I am 23 now. So fast. I am really a big girl now. Or should i say, I am a 'lady' now?
there are still so many things i have not achieved in this life...
of course i do, had many other achievements...quite many that i personally feel that i should be proud of :)
had an early birthday celebration at Tulsi (indian restaurant here in Galway) yesterday. Esther put in a lot of effort organising the whole thing.... i was in fact, quite touched by what they all did for me.
there are still so many things i have not achieved in this life...
of course i do, had many other achievements...quite many that i personally feel that i should be proud of :)
had an early birthday celebration at Tulsi (indian restaurant here in Galway) yesterday. Esther put in a lot of effort organising the whole thing.... i was in fact, quite touched by what they all did for me.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Living Buddha... have u ever seen any?
I once saw a personal msn message my friend left, “睁大眼睛看，我们身边其实有很多活菩萨。”
Hm... when i spend some time and ponder about what he said, i do agree with him. This week alone, i have seen a few, and i know these people, they are just like anyone of us, they live and work in the same community as i do, and the nice small things that they did made big difference.
"I'm blessed, I think."
Thanks to the friend who cared enough to send me the new year card packed with all the positive encouragement. As well as the small booklet. It was more than a normal chinese new year card.
Also, Thanks to Mr. Ben (who won't be seeing this, haha) for giving so much help to each and every student in my class. I really respect his dedication and kindness. It is rare to see someone who is so willing to take the extra mile to help those that are lost (us 4MB2 students). All the advice and tutorials to make sure everyone gets everything right. He said this in the mail he sent to the class...which i find, very inspirational..
"Learning is a life long experience, but always remember that you are a special person, you have something to contribute; only you can do it. You have within you the ability to be successful in life; don't let situations or any difficulties destroy your future. You are destined to be a winner."
Of course, my dear family. I don't need to look so far for any fairy god mother or living Buddha, they have been there, sheltering me all along, even when i am in this foreign land, i felt safe, because i know, no matter how far i go, they will be there for me. Thanks.
Phrase of the day, "Count your blessings!"
Hm... when i spend some time and ponder about what he said, i do agree with him. This week alone, i have seen a few, and i know these people, they are just like anyone of us, they live and work in the same community as i do, and the nice small things that they did made big difference.
"I'm blessed, I think."
Thanks to the friend who cared enough to send me the new year card packed with all the positive encouragement. As well as the small booklet. It was more than a normal chinese new year card.
Also, Thanks to Mr. Ben (who won't be seeing this, haha) for giving so much help to each and every student in my class. I really respect his dedication and kindness. It is rare to see someone who is so willing to take the extra mile to help those that are lost (us 4MB2 students). All the advice and tutorials to make sure everyone gets everything right. He said this in the mail he sent to the class...which i find, very inspirational..
"Learning is a life long experience, but always remember that you are a special person, you have something to contribute; only you can do it. You have within you the ability to be successful in life; don't let situations or any difficulties destroy your future. You are destined to be a winner."
Of course, my dear family. I don't need to look so far for any fairy god mother or living Buddha, they have been there, sheltering me all along, even when i am in this foreign land, i felt safe, because i know, no matter how far i go, they will be there for me. Thanks.
Phrase of the day, "Count your blessings!"
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Discipline Check
Hm....seems like i have been procrastinating a lot lately..I have typed so many drafts, for this blog to finally come up with this post...
Got very lazy since the Christmas break...
What have i NOT done?
- Uploading and maintenance of this blog.
- Practice of Tai Chi...rarely exercise lately, and i could proudly declare that i have successfully gained (ahem, unhealthy) weight.
- Wake up before 9 am.
- Study for Exams...my goodness, i have 2 pathology MCQs to sit for next week. One more pathology final paper at end of February, One surgical paper, and one more medicine paper...
- I still owe 2 detailed surgery posting reports!
- Not to forget, MIME (medical informatics) questionnaire, statistical data, and report+presentation.
- Cleaning the house...the kitchen is choatic, the corridors are dusty, the living room is messed up...
What have i been doing?
- Facebook..Facebook.. and Facebook...
- Sleep late (3am earliest?), Wake up late (11am earliest?)
- Downloads...songs, movies, whatever crap i can think of...
- Sitting there.. stoning, do nothing...
- Think basically i spent too much time in front of the computer...
- And the list can go on for many crappy stuffs which i dare not even declare now...
Hm... i need to start somewhere. There is no point blaming the weather for my failure to carry out any plans. Honestly speaking, i did not set any new year resolution this year, knowing that i have the tendency to postpone them all.... well, maybe i should just start to 'Shut up and Do it', someone told me this before, thanks very much, somehow it stayed there and become the small voice inside me. I have to admit, i am way too lazy and things are not going to be good if i go on this way.
Cili padi, HURRY up! Wake up! Buck up! March up! You know your responsibilities and you need to work to achieve your dreams (you very well know what it is!) ;p
Got very lazy since the Christmas break...
What have i NOT done?
- Uploading and maintenance of this blog.
- Practice of Tai Chi...rarely exercise lately, and i could proudly declare that i have successfully gained (ahem, unhealthy) weight.
- Wake up before 9 am.
- Study for Exams...my goodness, i have 2 pathology MCQs to sit for next week. One more pathology final paper at end of February, One surgical paper, and one more medicine paper...
- I still owe 2 detailed surgery posting reports!
- Not to forget, MIME (medical informatics) questionnaire, statistical data, and report+presentation.
- Cleaning the house...the kitchen is choatic, the corridors are dusty, the living room is messed up...
What have i been doing?
- Facebook..Facebook.. and Facebook...
- Sleep late (3am earliest?), Wake up late (11am earliest?)
- Downloads...songs, movies, whatever crap i can think of...
- Sitting there.. stoning, do nothing...
- Think basically i spent too much time in front of the computer...
- And the list can go on for many crappy stuffs which i dare not even declare now...
Hm... i need to start somewhere. There is no point blaming the weather for my failure to carry out any plans. Honestly speaking, i did not set any new year resolution this year, knowing that i have the tendency to postpone them all.... well, maybe i should just start to 'Shut up and Do it', someone told me this before, thanks very much, somehow it stayed there and become the small voice inside me. I have to admit, i am way too lazy and things are not going to be good if i go on this way.
Cili padi, HURRY up! Wake up! Buck up! March up! You know your responsibilities and you need to work to achieve your dreams (you very well know what it is!) ;p
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Are you a SPIRITUAL person?
I could still remember, the first time when i joined the Buddhist Society in IMU, Bukit Jalil. The advisor, Professor Hla (a very nice teacher from Burma), asked us a question, "Are you a spiritual person?"
And, being spiritual, does it mean that you are very religious? Do you, believe strongly in the existence of your GOD, and hence, you pray hard and follow all the 'rules' set by a religion?
A person can be very religious, they know everything about a religion, they know the precise methods of praying, they know the actual ways to perform certain rites...but then again, are they really spiritual? In my opinion, also, a person can be very spiritual, even when they have no religion.
Up to this day, i could still not precisely define what the word 'spiritual' means. I checked up the meaning of spirituality, in Wikipedia, and there was this long explanation... which I did not fully agree with.. but i do agree with the concept that it is 'subjective'.
So, is it important to be spiritual? Yes! I do think it is an absolutely essential element in our lives. In this material world, where physical needs and enjoyment are often prioritized, i frequently doubt the existence of spirituality in people around me. I ask myself again and again sometimes, do these people connect with their "spiritual" side? I do often ask myself, "Am I in touch with my spiritual side?"
And, being spiritual, does it mean that you are very religious? Do you, believe strongly in the existence of your GOD, and hence, you pray hard and follow all the 'rules' set by a religion?
A person can be very religious, they know everything about a religion, they know the precise methods of praying, they know the actual ways to perform certain rites...but then again, are they really spiritual? In my opinion, also, a person can be very spiritual, even when they have no religion.
Up to this day, i could still not precisely define what the word 'spiritual' means. I checked up the meaning of spirituality, in Wikipedia, and there was this long explanation... which I did not fully agree with.. but i do agree with the concept that it is 'subjective'.
So, is it important to be spiritual? Yes! I do think it is an absolutely essential element in our lives. In this material world, where physical needs and enjoyment are often prioritized, i frequently doubt the existence of spirituality in people around me. I ask myself again and again sometimes, do these people connect with their "spiritual" side? I do often ask myself, "Am I in touch with my spiritual side?"
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