(23+1) x 365!

wow... time flies. I am 23 now. So fast. I am really a big girl now. Or should i say, I am a 'lady' now?



there are still so many things i have not achieved in this life...

of course i do, had many other achievements...quite many that i personally feel that i should be proud of :)



had an early birthday celebration at Tulsi (indian restaurant here in Galway) yesterday. Esther put in a lot of effort organising the whole thing.... i was in fact, quite touched by what they all did for me.

Living Buddha... have u ever seen any?

I once saw a personal msn message my friend left, “睁大眼睛看，我们身边其实有很多活菩萨。”

Hm... when i spend some time and ponder about what he said, i do agree with him. This week alone, i have seen a few, and i know these people, they are just like anyone of us, they live and work in the same community as i do, and the nice small things that they did made big difference.

"I'm blessed, I think."

Thanks to the friend who cared enough to send me the new year card packed with all the positive encouragement. As well as the small booklet. It was more than a normal chinese new year card.

Also, Thanks to Mr. Ben (who won't be seeing this, haha) for giving so much help to each and every student in my class. I really respect his dedication and kindness. It is rare to see someone who is so willing to take the extra mile to help those that are lost (us 4MB2 students). All the advice and tutorials to make sure everyone gets everything right. He said this in the mail he sent to the class...which i find, very inspirational..

"Learning is a life long experience, but always remember that you are a special person, you have something to contribute; only you can do it. You have within you the ability to be successful in life; don't let situations or any difficulties destroy your future. You are destined to be a winner."

Of course, my dear family. I don't need to look so far for any fairy god mother or living Buddha, they have been there, sheltering me all along, even when i am in this foreign land, i felt safe, because i know, no matter how far i go, they will be there for me. Thanks.

Phrase of the day, "Count your blessings!"

Discipline Check

Hm....seems like i have been procrastinating a lot lately..I have typed so many drafts, for this blog to finally come up with this post...
Got very lazy since the Christmas break...

What have i NOT done?
- Uploading and maintenance of this blog.
- Practice of Tai Chi...rarely exercise lately, and i could proudly declare that i have successfully gained (ahem, unhealthy) weight.
- Wake up before 9 am.
- Study for Exams...my goodness, i have 2 pathology MCQs to sit for next week. One more pathology final paper at end of February, One surgical paper, and one more medicine paper...
- I still owe 2 detailed surgery posting reports!
- Not to forget, MIME (medical informatics) questionnaire, statistical data, and report+presentation.
- Cleaning the house...the kitchen is choatic, the corridors are dusty, the living room is messed up...

What have i been doing?
- Facebook..Facebook.. and Facebook...
- Sleep late (3am earliest?), Wake up late (11am earliest?)
- Downloads...songs, movies, whatever crap i can think of...
- Sitting there.. stoning, do nothing...
- Think basically i spent too much time in front of the computer...
- And the list can go on for many crappy stuffs which i dare not even declare now...

Hm... i need to start somewhere. There is no point blaming the weather for my failure to carry out any plans. Honestly speaking, i did not set any new year resolution this year, knowing that i have the tendency to postpone them all.... well, maybe i should just start to 'Shut up and Do it', someone told me this before, thanks very much, somehow it stayed there and become the small voice inside me. I have to admit, i am way too lazy and things are not going to be good if i go on this way.

Cili padi, HURRY up! Wake up! Buck up! March up! You know your responsibilities and you need to work to achieve your dreams (you very well know what it is!) ;p

Are you a SPIRITUAL person?

I could still remember, the first time when i joined the Buddhist Society in IMU, Bukit Jalil. The advisor, Professor Hla (a very nice teacher from Burma), asked us a question, "Are you a spiritual person?"


And, being spiritual, does it mean that you are very religious? Do you, believe strongly in the existence of your GOD, and hence, you pray hard and follow all the 'rules' set by a religion?


A person can be very religious, they know everything about a religion, they know the precise methods of praying, they know the actual ways to perform certain rites...but then again, are they really spiritual? In my opinion, also, a person can be very spiritual, even when they have no religion.


Up to this day, i could still not precisely define what the word 'spiritual' means. I checked up the meaning of spirituality, in Wikipedia, and there was this long explanation... which I did not fully agree with.. but i do agree with the concept that it is 'subjective'.


So, is it important to be spiritual? Yes! I do think it is an absolutely essential element in our lives. In this material world, where physical needs and enjoyment are often prioritized, i frequently doubt the existence of spirituality in people around me. I ask myself again and again sometimes, do these people connect with their "spiritual" side? I do often ask myself, "Am I in touch with my spiritual side?"

Happiness 幸福... Part 1

Everyone defines happiness differently. How do you define them in your own context?

Spend a few seconds thinking about it and let me know in the comments section ;-)

As a warm up, I have a few pictorial representation of heart warming happiness, that i would like to share.

No. 1:

Rice cooker nia... what is so special about it? See below...

It is all full of goodies... Emperor Chicken Herbs, Bakuteh Herbs, Greens, Vitamin C, etc. etc....I got the parcel on Christmas Eve 2007, guess this is the best present I had received so far :) 里面装的都是满满的爱心。爸爸妈妈，还有丽莹丽芳的努力和关心，我全部都能感觉得到。

No. 2:

07 December 2007, afternoon. It was raining, wet. Unexpectedly, this beautiful arch outside of my Gleann Dara house caught my eye, before I leave for grocery shopping in town. I have to admit, it was really, a breathtaking sight...

No.3:

When this...

Became this...

On 1st September 2007.

It all started with a long wait at Dr. Chong's clinic, then 4 healthy premolar extractions, followed by 4 miniscrew implants (all painful and bloody), more long waits, more travels to-and-fro (KL-Tangkak-KL) on weekends, recurrent gum abcesses + ulcers, antibiotics!, endless thorough toothbrushing everyday, for 10 months. Treatment was not all perfect nor complete, but the removal of the 4 miniscrews, and the Damon braces was absolutely relieving. No more braces!!

No.4:

Good food

Great companion

Picturesque scenery

for a holiday trip :)

Cry of The Sea

This is the lyric of the English Version of 张惠妹- 听海。I stumbled upon this song on Youtube..really nice cover by a girl, Julia Abueva (11 years-old).

Cry of The Sea

Speak to me I want to know
the colours of the sea
The sea that holds in its arms each passing night
Colours of grey and blue
Please share with me
Sometimes my mind wanders too far
Where can you be?

Speak to me I want to know
What fills your thoughts tonight
I close my eyes and reach for you
Are you trying to reach me too?
Trying to understand
Questions I longed to ask of you
Wondering if you are near my friend listening to me

Hear the cry of the sea
A song of pain with the sad refrain that whispers to me
Echoes in the dark
Can't explain what went wrong
I hear the tears I share these tears
And cry silently

Hear the cry of the sea
Sounds of the night makes my heart take flight
Then you whispered to me
This night will turn to dark
bringing hope to move on
Turn to me
Are you here my friend
And I'll set your heart free

Turn to me
I am here my friend
And I'll set your heart free

SAD? Why? What's that?

SAD?

Well... before u guys pick up the phone and start calling me asking me why i am sad...
I would like to explain what the story is all about.

SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, a.k.a. SAD, Seasonal depression, Seasonal mood disorder... meaning that the seasonal changes in a place can actually cause changes in human mood and behaviour. Usually depression, according to friends and seniors here. One of them even said that suicide rates during winter is exceptionally high...

Well, the first week when i arrived here in Galway, i have heard a senior said,"...when winter comes the day gets so short that by the time it's 3p.m. the sky is as dark as 9p.m. in Malaysia, that can really be DEPRESSING..." Since then, i have heard similar comments about the impending winter season.

Alas! It's fall/winter now... and frankly speaking, i can feel it. The days are really getting shorter, lesser sunlight, MORE rain, stronger, louder wind...and it is really cold. Getting blown by the strong winds amidst the dark cold rain has been a part of my everyday life now. Undeniably, sometimes i feel kinda depressed thinking about the weather. One of my housemates said."Haah...the weather here ah, more unpredictable compared to a woman's mood..." Also, they said this is just the beginning, things will get worse, and this condition will go on at least up to February...Hm...seems like there are still 3 months to go at least.

I told myself, "开心也要过日子，不开心也要过日子，既然快乐或不快乐都是由自己来决定，不如选择开开心心渡过每一天?"... Weather bad mah. But our mood does not necessarily have to follow the weather mah. It is easier said than done sometimes. But i believe, nothing is to difficult to do. At the end of the day it is still up to us to put in the effort.

Ok. I do admit i get very sad sometimes, and sometimes i do cry for no reason. Sometimes i wonder, do i have SAD? Hm... or maybe i am just feeling homesick? Sometimes i get so sick of some people, especially the one who only cares of herself and rejoices seeing me in whatever state of dismal. Well thanks to her i made more new friends, also, i learnt to develop the skin of a rhino, and most importantly, TOLERANCE and PATIENCE. I could tolerate even her, who else in this world that i cannot tolerate?

Jeannie told me last week, "...it is always the struggle to find this balance point, to find our self-worth. but i can tell u one thing, NO ONE can make u feel worthless if u do not allow them to do so to u. U decide..."

With all the stress of exam and other stressor factors here, i am grateful that i have all the support from all of you who care. One of my friends here told me that whenever i feel down i need to reach out. That is just what i will do in difficult times, and now i am just feeling alright. Thanks. :)