SAD? Why? What's that?

SAD?

Well... before u guys pick up the phone and start calling me asking me why i am sad...
I would like to explain what the story is all about.

SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, a.k.a. SAD, Seasonal depression, Seasonal mood disorder... meaning that the seasonal changes in a place can actually cause changes in human mood and behaviour. Usually depression, according to friends and seniors here. One of them even said that suicide rates during winter is exceptionally high...

Well, the first week when i arrived here in Galway, i have heard a senior said,"...when winter comes the day gets so short that by the time it's 3p.m. the sky is as dark as 9p.m. in Malaysia, that can really be DEPRESSING..." Since then, i have heard similar comments about the impending winter season.

Alas! It's fall/winter now... and frankly speaking, i can feel it. The days are really getting shorter, lesser sunlight, MORE rain, stronger, louder wind...and it is really cold. Getting blown by the strong winds amidst the dark cold rain has been a part of my everyday life now. Undeniably, sometimes i feel kinda depressed thinking about the weather. One of my housemates said."Haah...the weather here ah, more unpredictable compared to a woman's mood..." Also, they said this is just the beginning, things will get worse, and this condition will go on at least up to February...Hm...seems like there are still 3 months to go at least.

I told myself, "开心也要过日子，不开心也要过日子，既然快乐或不快乐都是由自己来决定，不如选择开开心心渡过每一天?"... Weather bad mah. But our mood does not necessarily have to follow the weather mah. It is easier said than done sometimes. But i believe, nothing is to difficult to do. At the end of the day it is still up to us to put in the effort.

Ok. I do admit i get very sad sometimes, and sometimes i do cry for no reason. Sometimes i wonder, do i have SAD? Hm... or maybe i am just feeling homesick? Sometimes i get so sick of some people, especially the one who only cares of herself and rejoices seeing me in whatever state of dismal. Well thanks to her i made more new friends, also, i learnt to develop the skin of a rhino, and most importantly, TOLERANCE and PATIENCE. I could tolerate even her, who else in this world that i cannot tolerate?

Jeannie told me last week, "...it is always the struggle to find this balance point, to find our self-worth. but i can tell u one thing, NO ONE can make u feel worthless if u do not allow them to do so to u. U decide..."

With all the stress of exam and other stressor factors here, i am grateful that i have all the support from all of you who care. One of my friends here told me that whenever i feel down i need to reach out. That is just what i will do in difficult times, and now i am just feeling alright. Thanks. :)