Why do i do the same mistakes again and again? have i got no self control at all?
why can't i just tell myself that i will be more confident with myself?
why must i make people's life more miserable?
how???
i am frustrated... i wanna get out of this rut... i dont want to continue to be in this state of self pity... worthlessness... i want to be confident..
i told myself to be positive.... but why do i fall back again to the grey mode, so fast?
i need to do something, its ruining myself, it's ruining my relationship with ppl around me.... i need to do something before it's too late!!!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Do you believe in God?
Am i spiritual? or... am i spiritual enough?
i suppose sometimes, when i am calmer, i am more aware of the surroundings, when i am neutral, i am spiritual.
there are times, when i am feeling stressed, uneasy, easily irritated, upset for minor reasons... i think about negative things... that is when the spirituality in me is nowhere to be found...
Final med is a tough year... and time and time again i lose my spiritual side... (i think) as a result, the frequency of 'unhappy events' are higher as compared to previous years... today, i met Ben, he is like one of our tutor in the CSI, he was reminding me that its very important for us to keep a strong sense of spirituality deep within us, and also to believe in god in times of hardships...he asked me, "Do you believe in the powerful one up there? He is always beside you to help you..."
I replied, "yes, of course... and i do believe that he takes many forms to remind us/take care of us... as an example, he sends people to help us/ take care of us. That is how he reaches us.. and i believe, within everyone of us, there is a god, to lead us the way in our lives....hmm, perhaps he sent u to me today to remind me, to be strong inside!" :)
Going back to my 'fluctuating spirituality', i believe that is a sign that i have not trained my mind well enough... as a result of lack of 'spiritual exercise', i let myself go astray with negative thoughts many times a day... as a result, i frequently think of giving up when things get tough, i get depressed when things do not turn out as planned, i get mad/angry when i could not get things done in time, i feel lousy, and ugly, sometimes a little stupid... all of these are good indicators, signifying that i need to be more alert n keep more in touch with my spiritual side.
I would like to end this post with a shout out (taken from my friend, Alicia's facebook shoutout...
"No other person can make you feel beautiful. You give all these things to yourself by growing as a person and changing the way to talk to yourself."
Enough said, cili padi, stay strong...you can make things happen! :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Cinderella and the Med Ball
Don't laugh at me, but i do have to admit that i have had a lot of 'magical' thoughts since i was a young girl... one of the fairy tales that lives in me indefinitely, is the story of Cinderella...
I have always dreamed about how it will be like to dress up for a night and to attend a ball, meeting the prince charming there, dance together and have an unforgettable night.
My 'dream came true' last friday, 20th November 2009 was the first time i attended a ball. It was a medical faculty ball organised by UCC (University College Cork).
Although things weren't as fancy as what i imagined... but it turned out to be quite good. This is a night, which i will never forget. Ps: Thanks Mr. Lim ;)
~ Carpe Diem : Cherish the moment ~
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Dare to fly, Little Dandelion!
It was Hong Tak's previous visit to Galway. Due to excessive boredom from too much of studying, he suggested 'out of the blue' that we watch an episode of Doraemon (the blue, round, earless robotic cat, pictured below) on the internet. I believe many of us had at least read the Doraemon comic or watched the cartoon once in our lifetime, during childhood.
Hmm.... the synopsis of the story goes like this:
One fine day, Nobita and Doraemon was cleaning up the room. Nobita spotted a plant (the dandelion) growing inside his empty glass aquarium. He planned to throw the plant away but was
stopped by Doraemon... Anyway, Doraemon, as usual, introduced a very cool piece of tool to Nobita, and thus he was able to 'interact' with and 'befriended' the dandelion. Nobita became propective and curious about the plant, observing it day by day, until the day it evolved into a beautiful, flower head covered with many 'baby' parachutes.
Then the time came when the wind came blowing and the 'babies' took flight with the strong wind, spinning courageously in the air, leaving their 'beloved mother' behind, to pursue their destiny while exploring the world around them. The first gush of wind brought all of the baby dandelions away, except for one tiny little 'baby', very attached and very reluctant to leave its mother.
"I'm afraid!!! I don't want to leave you, mother! I want to stay here with you..." the young dandelion cried.
"Don't be afraid, my dear child. You have to be strong, you have to be brave. You should join your brothers and sisters. Look! They are all flying happily in the air, exploring the beautiful world."
"But I don't want to leave you, I feel safe here. I'm afraid to go away all by myself!", the young one protested.
"My dear child, before I settled here, I was once young like you. I join my brothers and sisters, we left our mother (your grandmother) beside the train station, we flew bravely in the air, and then we parted and took our own journey. I went to many different place, i saw the most beautiful sights on earth....and at night, when it was cold and lonely, I would settle down and rest on top of the roof, accompanied by the bright, beautiful 'Grandma Moon'. Then for my final destination, I settled in a glass aquarium in Nobita's room. And now i am happy to have you here."
"Wow.... mother, your experience was really exciting. After listening to your story, I am not afraid anymore! When the next gush of wind comes, I will be brave and take flight, to explore the beautiful world outside!" exclaimed the young one.
Within seconds, another gush of strong wind came by, the young da
ndelion spunned gracefully in the sky, happily bidding farewell to its mother....
Of course, Nobita followed the whole process of the dandelion's life. He then summed up enough courage to join the Big bully Giant and and smug boy (Shinyu) in a baseball game which he is always afraid to join.
Anyone interested in watching the animation of the story? Click on the link below:
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/j9-ZFgZz-_w/
The retold story may not be 100% accurate, but that is the gist i think is valuable to share. I find this story, simple, yet deeply inspiring and touching. It unfolded many lessons and facts of life.
I could still remember back in the time where i first settled down at Taylor's College Subang Jaya, i was very reluctant and afraid to leave my coccoon. Furthermore, to leave the accountancy course in matriculation and pursue medicine in KL was an abrupt decision i made on the day i left. I cried, i was unsure of the future, i felt helpless.
Mummy and daddy called to check if i was settling well. I could not recall the exact conversation but there was a sentence which still rings in my head, everytime i feel afraid (even until now). Mummy said, "Li Liang, i know you are a very strong girl and you will be OK. We (everyone at home) will always be here for you."
Until now, her words still come back to me, when the going gets tough. That is how i motivate and reassure myself when i feel afraid at this foreign land. I think in a way, it has evolved into an inner motto i constantly have in my mind when things get really challenging. I think daddy and mummy has done a great deal to provide a very secure base for us all, independent and strong enough to pursue the challenges in our life, yet having a very safe haven to turn to when we needed the extra support. Thank you :)
I have not really discussed much about the lessons i learnt from the story i shared above. Perhaps my dear readers, would you reflect and ponder what the little plant in the story has taught us all?
(Doraemon {{fairuse}} ©[http://www.fujiko-pro.co.jp/ Fujiko-Pro], [http://www.shogakukan.co.jp/ Shogakukan] and [http://www.tv-asahi.co.jp/ TV Asahi].)
I have to admit that have i watched quite a great deal of Doraemon cartoons and comic. However, i could hardly recall vividly, any of the stories depicted (poor memory..LOL) .... except for a story i read in one of the comics during my primary school period. It was about the story of Nobita following the life of a dandelion.Hmm.... the synopsis of the story goes like this:
One fine day, Nobita and Doraemon was cleaning up the room. Nobita spotted a plant (the dandelion) growing inside his empty glass aquarium. He planned to throw the plant away but was
stopped by Doraemon... Anyway, Doraemon, as usual, introduced a very cool piece of tool to Nobita, and thus he was able to 'interact' with and 'befriended' the dandelion. Nobita became propective and curious about the plant, observing it day by day, until the day it evolved into a beautiful, flower head covered with many 'baby' parachutes. 
Then the time came when the wind came blowing and the 'babies' took flight with the strong wind, spinning courageously in the air, leaving their 'beloved mother' behind, to pursue their destiny while exploring the world around them. The first gush of wind brought all of the baby dandelions away, except for one tiny little 'baby', very attached and very reluctant to leave its mother.
"I'm afraid!!! I don't want to leave you, mother! I want to stay here with you..." the young dandelion cried.
"Don't be afraid, my dear child. You have to be strong, you have to be brave. You should join your brothers and sisters. Look! They are all flying happily in the air, exploring the beautiful world."
"But I don't want to leave you, I feel safe here. I'm afraid to go away all by myself!", the young one protested.
"My dear child, before I settled here, I was once young like you. I join my brothers and sisters, we left our mother (your grandmother) beside the train station, we flew bravely in the air, and then we parted and took our own journey. I went to many different place, i saw the most beautiful sights on earth....and at night, when it was cold and lonely, I would settle down and rest on top of the roof, accompanied by the bright, beautiful 'Grandma Moon'. Then for my final destination, I settled in a glass aquarium in Nobita's room. And now i am happy to have you here."
"Wow.... mother, your experience was really exciting. After listening to your story, I am not afraid anymore! When the next gush of wind comes, I will be brave and take flight, to explore the beautiful world outside!" exclaimed the young one.
Within seconds, another gush of strong wind came by, the young da
ndelion spunned gracefully in the sky, happily bidding farewell to its mother....Of course, Nobita followed the whole process of the dandelion's life. He then summed up enough courage to join the Big bully Giant and and smug boy (Shinyu) in a baseball game which he is always afraid to join.
-The End-
Anyone interested in watching the animation of the story? Click on the link below:
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/j9-ZFgZz-_w/
The retold story may not be 100% accurate, but that is the gist i think is valuable to share. I find this story, simple, yet deeply inspiring and touching. It unfolded many lessons and facts of life.
I could still remember back in the time where i first settled down at Taylor's College Subang Jaya, i was very reluctant and afraid to leave my coccoon. Furthermore, to leave the accountancy course in matriculation and pursue medicine in KL was an abrupt decision i made on the day i left. I cried, i was unsure of the future, i felt helpless.
Mummy and daddy called to check if i was settling well. I could not recall the exact conversation but there was a sentence which still rings in my head, everytime i feel afraid (even until now). Mummy said, "Li Liang, i know you are a very strong girl and you will be OK. We (everyone at home) will always be here for you."
Until now, her words still come back to me, when the going gets tough. That is how i motivate and reassure myself when i feel afraid at this foreign land. I think in a way, it has evolved into an inner motto i constantly have in my mind when things get really challenging. I think daddy and mummy has done a great deal to provide a very secure base for us all, independent and strong enough to pursue the challenges in our life, yet having a very safe haven to turn to when we needed the extra support. Thank you :)
I have not really discussed much about the lessons i learnt from the story i shared above. Perhaps my dear readers, would you reflect and ponder what the little plant in the story has taught us all?
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Five Love Languages
I was told by a friend last week, that the expression of love, or known as the 'love languages' comes in 5 different forms..it may differ for every individual in terms of preference of using and receiving the type of love language.. i was curious and started to look for more clues with regards to this matter, and i found these:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Those listed above are the five major types of love languages.
I think the headings are pretty much self-explanatory. I know, they may seem very 'cliche', but common things being common, common things are often neglected and taken for granted.
In my opinion, for every relationship, it takes a combination of all of them to ensure an effective communication. It is actually easy to achieve all of the above, what we need is just a little bit more of mindfulness and empathy towards the people who we care about. Hence, as different independent beings as we are, it is not impossible if the other person prefers a different type of love language as us... should we pay more attention to their needs?
Or do we just express our care using the language that we are comfortable using and expect that the other party would somehow be a 'psychic' and feel it?
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Those listed above are the five major types of love languages.
I think the headings are pretty much self-explanatory. I know, they may seem very 'cliche', but common things being common, common things are often neglected and taken for granted.
In my opinion, for every relationship, it takes a combination of all of them to ensure an effective communication. It is actually easy to achieve all of the above, what we need is just a little bit more of mindfulness and empathy towards the people who we care about. Hence, as different independent beings as we are, it is not impossible if the other person prefers a different type of love language as us... should we pay more attention to their needs?
Or do we just express our care using the language that we are comfortable using and expect that the other party would somehow be a 'psychic' and feel it?
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Friday, November 14, 2008
Feeling lonely?
The feeling of loneliness strikes each and everyone of us every now and then. Is it true that if you are all by yourself, you are lonely?
Frequently, some people may feel lonely even when they are surrounded by many people; and to be frank, sometimes i feel even more lonely when there are people around me, as compared to when i am all by myself.
I have always thought about the fact that, we come to this world alone, and we are going to leave this world alone. No matter how much we enjoy company of those whom we love (or vice versa), they are not going to be there for us, forever. Hence, i think it is absolutely important to be independent and self-sufficient in every way.
All of us, had been 'alone' all this while, and yet, sometimes we do not feel 'lonely'. Perhaps, it is the state of mind that controls an individual's perception of 'loneliness'.
The next time you feel 'lonely', maybe just ask yourself, maybe it's just the feeling of 'emptiness' rather than 'loneliness'. As a suggestion, when that feeling comes, maybe it is good to just do things for 'me' or 'myself', do things that you genuinely enjoy, or just purely focus on the 'good' things that had happened to you. You may realise that, 'Hey, actually i am not that lonely!'
Frequently, some people may feel lonely even when they are surrounded by many people; and to be frank, sometimes i feel even more lonely when there are people around me, as compared to when i am all by myself.
I have always thought about the fact that, we come to this world alone, and we are going to leave this world alone. No matter how much we enjoy company of those whom we love (or vice versa), they are not going to be there for us, forever. Hence, i think it is absolutely important to be independent and self-sufficient in every way.
All of us, had been 'alone' all this while, and yet, sometimes we do not feel 'lonely'. Perhaps, it is the state of mind that controls an individual's perception of 'loneliness'.
The next time you feel 'lonely', maybe just ask yourself, maybe it's just the feeling of 'emptiness' rather than 'loneliness'. As a suggestion, when that feeling comes, maybe it is good to just do things for 'me' or 'myself', do things that you genuinely enjoy, or just purely focus on the 'good' things that had happened to you. You may realise that, 'Hey, actually i am not that lonely!'
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